Irony

The moment we laid our eyes on each other that night

we knew that was the last time we’d be together

Every breath I took seemed like counted

Every batter of your lids were noticed

It was evident that we still felt the same

Yet the words coming from my mouth was goodbye

It was the first time I saw tears rolled down from your eyes

first time you hugged me while on your knees

It never crossed my mind you’d hold on to me that way

I was about to change my mind when you suddenly stood up

Showed your tear streaked face and said that you’ll always cherish all the memories we had

How ironic isn’t it?

You seemed to love me so much that you held on to me

but not that long for me to change my mind

We then knew that it was really the end of what we had

Another first time feeling of being at the point of no return

From the beginning of our conversation I never cried

but when we parted as I walked on home

the silent tears rolled along with the rain

I cried like I was about to die

as if I want to hold on to dear life

A part of me wanted you back

but in my mind I gave up

In the end, I got by when I let you go

Now I’m all alone I knew what loneliness meant

The next morning after our conversation

I was aware as minutes turned into an hour

as  hours turned into a day

as days turned into a week

as weeks turned into a month

Never in my life have I noticed these partition of time when I was still with you

Its been months now yet still I think of you

How ironic indeed that I thought that all I needed was closure

Yes indeed I got by

But I certainly felt I was not living anymore

I was not the happy-go-lucky person whom I used to be

I was vulnerable and felt a facade building up in front of me

Now I’m in the shadows waiting for the day when the sun would reach me

Oh how I long to wake up one day happy and contented

Then suddenly came from nowhere,

a flashback of our times together

Ironic indeed

The more I try to forget you

The more I’m aware I long for your presence

The more I reject the thought of you

The more it creeps on my consciousness

Let this be my last expression of our painful break-up

and the beginning of a new life without you